MOTHER F&^%%^$ COC* SUC&^%^%$^!!!!

uhm.

ok.

so....

a little frustrated.

It's just been a sucky day for this project musically.

GooooooddddddDDDDDAAAAMMMMIIITTTTTTTT!!!

Sorry.

just...

releasing some stress.

better to do it here than throw my laptop out the window, eh?

Ok.

I've hit a wall with some arrangements.

I feel like i've wasted hours at the piano just recording and deleting over and over.

I'm starting to worry that all these songs sound the same and why am i only noticing now that they're mostly all in the same KEY? 

How the hell did THAT happen?

Will that matter?

Will people's ears get really really really tired of that one key?

Or is it just mine because i'm listening to these arangements over and over and OVER.

Should I change keys?

Should I change songs?

Should I maybe just give up music and start working the corner of 43rd and 9th?

I'm trying to lay down some piano tracks and...i'm just fumbling about like a complete tool. Plus walking with a cane recently, my right hand is just all pissed off and crampy.

Basically...

I am way off my game today and...I don't like it.

Not one bit.

I don't like feeling like i'm wasting time.

Also, it doesn't help that I'm also doing test vocals and am pretty sure that I suck absolute toaster streudel.

UGH!

For the me, the worst part is trying to be objective vocally. 

It's.....impossible. 

It really is.

THIS is where i really need a producer...to save me from MYSELF.

I can be much more objective about my instrumental playing... but the perfectionist in me becomes an absolute tyrant when it comes to my own vocals. I've always been this way. Ever since I was a little kid. 

So, on the one hand it's great because I can do as many takes as i want and not have to worry about someone else paying for studio time as I try to get it as close to ideal as possible. But on the other hand, there is no one to talk me down and make me move on when I believe that absolutely everything I'm singing is for shit and should never ever be heard in public.

I must resist the urge to obsess over the vocals.

I must resist the urge to obsess over the vocals.

I must resist the urge to obsess over the vocals.

The weird thing is, I know this is me just being really hard on myself and somewhere inside i know it doesn't sound bad at all. I can remember being in the studio recording My Life With Albertine  and just HATING my stuff because i was sick, and tired, and vocally exhuasted...but I couldn't do more than two takes of my stuff because of time. When it came out, i refused to listen to it because i was SO convinced that I would be absolutely horrified by my performance. Years later, I happened to hear my solo number (i think maybe in the car on Sirius XM, maybe) and I remember thinking,

"Oh my God, that was actually really good! What was my fucking problem?"

When i got home, i bought the album and listened to it all night...thoroughly enjoying it.

It's like that syndrome where...the whole time in high school you were convinced you were an ugly, fat monster...and then ten years later you look at pictures of yourself and think,

"Oh my God, I actually looked really good! What was my fucking problem?"

So it's something I'm aware of.

But it's also something that...is very difficult for me to deal with all by myself in my apartment. I may have to put Andy (the bf) on "perfectionist" duty. Ahhhhh, Andy Arrow. The luckiest man in show business. Bless.

And not for nothing....

My brilliant plan to use the rehearsal room in the building?

yeah.

not so much.

Complete and total waste of fucking time.

Last night i waited until 11:30pm to get the key to the basement rehearsal room (my sign up time was 11:30pm-12:45am) and i'm already kinda stressy. I'm standing at the front desk of my building with music, computer, cords, pop screen, bread crumbs and vodka in my backpack--

and a microphone and microphone stand in one hand and a cane in the other--

all the while trying to sign in for the room (at Manhattan Plaza you sign for everything), get the keys and try to pry directions to where it actually is from the security guard.

So...

already.

it's a stressful production just getting there in my 'condition'.

I get down to the basement-

start walking around and following signs to the practice room, I hope.

Even though I've been down here plenty of times...I never really did notice how loud it is down here. It sounds like being in the hull of a working ship. Clanging pipes, hissing sounds of 'steam', and an overall general "hummmmmmmmmmmm" that I was extremely wary of.

I take a deep breath to remove judgement until i'm in the actual room.

So i turn the corner and see the practice room....

i look through the window of the door...

"not bad".

Put the key in, turn the door knob, open the door....

take one step onto the floor and ccccrrrrrreeeaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkk.

fuck.

I try to remain optimistic.

"it's not so bad...i'll just throw my jacket down and stand on it and not move...

on one leg....

with a cane...

and a walking boot."

I give a little vocal 'heeeeyyyy' test...

it bounces back to me for, a little part of a minute.

it's a fucking echo chamber of acoustic death in here.

So...

basically in denial...

i keep unpacking...

my...

stuff?

cause.

I'm.

crazy.

All the while registering now, not only the cracked out acoustics but the creaking floor, the yelling maintenance people outside in the hall, the slamming doors, oh oh.....what's that? I don't know but it sounds like some sort of trash compactor...?

to go with....

....what IS THAT?!

ahhhhhh yes.

brilliant.

awesome.

fan-TAS-tic.

The piece de resistance is this.....

sound of someone slamming on and off some sort of...

water faucet? 

Like in an old house, you can hear when the water turns off and on with a thud? 

ok.

now.

THIS is the kind thing that will make me..........in-SSAAAANNNNEEEEE.

I am extremely sound sensitive anyway-

but...

i can deal with people talking...

i can deal with washing machines....

i can deal with traffic sounds....

because in a way they have a rhyme and reason.

a conversation will eventually end...

the washing machine will eventually shut off...

traffic sounds tend to cycle around rush hours...

but...

something like this?

this...

RANDOM turning on and off of whatever this FRIGGIN BALLSACKING MILK COCKING SOUND ISSS ALLREEAADDYY MMAKKINGG MEEE HOOMOOOCIIIDDAALLL!!!!!!!

Obviously, a smarter and more rational person would have walked into this room...

immediately clocked the impossibility of it...

and walked out.

Not me.

No no nonoononoooooooooo.

This is where the Irish stubbornness works against a girl.

No...I'm gonna STAY.

i'm gonna MAKE THIS WORK.

I'm gonna......find something POSITIVE IN THIS ROOM I KNOW IT!!!

Defiantly.

I set everything up...

i don't know...

hoping once the clock struck twelve that all of a sudden everyone in the building would go to sleep and....stop talking...and taking out the trash...and USING WHATEVER *^^%$)(*YU)(*)*&^*&^%$*&^%$&$%#^#@^#$@^ WATER FAUCET/PUMP/THING??!!

oh sweet Jesus i'm going to kill someone.

I forge on.

Because somewhere...obviously, i hate myself.

just a little bit.

I start to try to record tracks....

please don't question the logic...there is none.

I wait for all the noises to stop...

i press record hoping that i can get through the quiet part of the song to the louder part before everything starts up again.

And it's like...

well it's like a Carol Burnett sketch honestly.

It's quiet...

I press record....

it's quiet...

it's quiet...

it's quiet...

i take a breath aaanndd...

all of a sudden i've been drop kicked into a mixer.

and not like a fun party, i mean like...

an actual kitchen appliance.

with tons of reverb.

this happens over and over and over and over....

until at about 12:20am...

practically in tears...

I give up.

So.

Fuck.

I pack everything up and head to the elevators.

I press up and wait...and wait...and wait.

Finally, I start looking around and then i see it.

A sign that says,

"Due to regular maintenance, the elevators will be shut off from 12am-2am. We apologize for any inconvenience".

and, scene.

xo

dl

The Monument Song?

So....

resident goofball Ryan Bauer-Walsh apparently googled 'THE MONUMENT SONG' because that was the code-name of one of my tracks (btw, hilarious on that and A+ for effort, Ryan!).

While this is an interesting tune-

and dare i say....

vaguely reminiscent of Gilbert and Sullivan?

I assure you all that this is not my "Monument Song":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3_qQr1aY70

xo

dl

THANK YOU SETH RUDESTSKY and SIRIUS XM Radio!

Hello My Lil' Chickens!

Just got home from doing Seth Rudetsky's Sirius XM radio show " Live On Broadway"! Had an awesome time!  What a cool gig.  If any of you ever want to watch the broadcast live- just head on over to the Times Square Information building (on 7th between 46th and 47th) every wednesday at noon- have a seat and be entertained for an hour.

I got a chance to say hi to the fabulously talented Kerry Butler and to meet Constantine Maroulis from Rock Of Ages. They were doing the segment after me...really sweet people.

And of course, it's always a fun time chatting with Seth-

usually, i do The Chatterbox at Don't Tell Momma's...

but this was my first time on the radio show, and it was a blast.

God I love Rudetsky. His mind is like 8 hamsters on crack all running at full tilt on a wheel decked out with chaser lights that spell "SHOW BIZ!!!". He's truly a comedy and musical genius. And he truly truly loves musical theatre and everything that goes with it more than anyone I've ever met. That's the heart of his charm, I think.

And good lord, we go waaaaaaayyyyyy back.

We actually did a really funny show of his and Jack Plotnick's* at Don't Tell Momma's...and i believe i played (amongst others) Joyce DeWitt in a sketch.

If i recall correctly...?

*Not for nothing but Jack now teaches marvelous classes about acting and managing the business and I highly recommend them: (www.jackplotnick.com)

I also got a chance to catch up with old friend Julie James who's now the program director and a producer at Sirius (not to mention still using those glorious pipes of hers for some SANGIN'). She's a marvelous talent and it's so wonderful to see her so happy and successful. She also graciously offered to put my CD on the air when it's ready to go! 

How's THAT?! 

Pretty fantabulous, I'd say.

Anyway-

we chatted about many things, including the new CD and then I sang a song from the album called "The Parting Glass". This is my usual encore in my one-woman show, so I figured it was safe to put out there. I was tempted to bring one of my other songs but, I'm still leery about putting out my material before it's all on the CD.  The Parting Glass is actually the song I auditioned with that got me my Broadway debut in James Joyce's The Dead.  It's a really pretty tune and my brother did a really cool promo video of it for my show- here, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6v14ibO9pY

Also, (my mom will be thrilled about this)-

i did one of those 'tags'?

I know....AWESOME, right?

So...

if you listen to Sirius XM you might hear me say, 

"This is Donna Lynne Champlin and you're listening to Sirius XM's Live On Broadway."

GAH!

Is that cool, or WHAT?!

Have to say....

it's the little things, like that...

that make me feel kinda like a big deal.

It's ironic.

Getting a show jacket (yes, i know they're for show off-y douche bags and i don't care)-

Going to the cobbler and getting your foot traced so that they can custom make you a pair of shoes for your new Broadway show...

Doing a BCEFA event like Gypsy of the Year and seeing the whole community come together and know that somehow you're a part of it....

Doing a 'tag' on Sirius XM so your mom can hear it randomly when she's driving home from work-

Yeah.

Those are the things that really register with me.

You'd think it would be the applause, or people asking for your autograph and the like...

but..

i don't know.

For me, it's really not.

It's those...

tiny little 'keys to the city' you get handed every once in a while that seem really unimportant but...just mean everything.

Anyway!

tangent, sorry.

The show will air on SIRIUS Channel 77 and XM Channel 75

One week from this friday night at 7pm (October 9th, 2009)

Encore presentations of the show are:

Sundays at 11pm

Tuesdays at 7am 

Wednesdays at noon.

Until then, my lickety splits...

xo

dl

FIRST DONATION!

THANK YOU RUSSELL LEHRER!!!

oh my stars....

I opened up my email this morning and saw a receipt from paypal saying 'Donation Recevied'-

and I didn't know what was happening.

I thought, 

"Wait a minute. Did i make an online donation last night? 

Did i do something when i was futzing around with my new paypal account?"

I opened up the email and it was a donation to MY CD!

I couldn't believe it!

I had put the 'donate' button on my website, waiting for things to clear 

and figured I'd make an announcement about it when i was sure everything worked....

and the enterprising and generous Mr. Russell Lehrer just went on there and donated $100 if his hard earned money.

Bless, bless BLESS!

So thank you so much Russell!

Your donation will be put towards the "PR Fund" to promote the CD.

The actual making of the CD will still remain under the original budget of $1000 as promised.

I am eternally grateful.

xo

dl

THE MONUMENT SONG: day two

oy vey.

i approach my pseudo-recording-studio-work-station with dread for the first time in the project. And i resist, the urge to just move onto another song and leave this one unfinished for later. But i know it will just gnaw at me until it's done so....unto the breech, as Billy says.

as per my previous "Monument Song" post...

I am on the prowl for something musically that can fulfill the 'wail' like quality of a pedal steel guitar.

I've exhausted all my garage band and yamaha keyboard patches--

and by exhausted, I mean excema-sausted.

and I am not optimistic at my prospects.

I believe so much in the beautiful rain-on-a-foggy-day like flavor of this song that the pedal steel guitar brings, that i am tempted to scrap the entire song if i can't do the original arrangement justice.

I look at the clock.

9pm.

Prime acoustic instrument recording time.

Well, that's a plus at least.

I put my flute together....

i play some of the pedal steel guitar lines.

I try to use the rolling in and out of the emboucher (mouth piece) to get that sort of falling in and off of the note sound. 

meh.

I try to finess the ever living shit out of it on garage band.

double meh.

I try to make it sound 'electric', by putting it through all sorts of 'amp' patches.

double dog meh.

i try even 'distortion' patches...

oh good Christ, it sounds like the Daleks from Dr Who.

horrible.

meh to the power of balls.

ok. 

the flute option is out.

shit.

I'm really hesitant to use the accordion because i've already used the accordion on the friggin accordion track. And I was so pleased to even HAVE a chart that was originally intended for an accordion that i don't want to...ya know make it jealous. Like siblings when it's only one kid's birthday. It's tough on the other kid, ya know? I like to keep my instruments happy.

Well.

Screw it.

What other options do i have?

There is absolutely no one i know who plays the goddamn pedal steel guitar, and even if i do, i certainly don't know them well enough to ask them to play it for free.

I strap on the beast.

I play a few lines of the pedal steel guitar track.

it kinda sounds like ass.

it's too, 'full'.

it's too......low.

wwaaaaaiiitttttt a minute....

i click the reeds out and up into the clarinet region*.

*for those of you unfamiliar with the accordion, it's a reed instrument. Inside the piano keys and the buttons are a bunch of reeds similar to clarinets, oboes, bassoons, etc. So it's pretty much like a mobile reed section- which is why it was so integral to our production of SWEENEY TODD.

ooooohhhhhhh, yes.

much more plaintive sounding.

if i manage the bellows...i can get a very very slight falling off of the tone.

I can definitely get the swell.

oh...do i dare get my hopes up?

After everything...

will it really be this simple of a solution?

I go back and start futzing with the mix.

I add a whole bunch of stuff to it- amps, wahs, reductions...

hmmmmmm, there's something....

not quite right.

it's clashing by actually melting with what i've already recorded as the accordion line.

They're bleeding together, and not in a good way.

Not that anything involving bleeding is ever really good, i'm guessing.

wait!

wait wait wait.....

i take mostly all the effects off the pedal steel guitar line....

and put them instead ONTO the other accordion line.

oh my god.

that's it!

that's IT!

in a weird way...the effects make the accordion line sound more like an accordion?

whereas, leaving the accordion rather plain in effect...makes it sound less like an accordion and just more like, something else?

does it sound like a pedal steel guitar?

oh hells no.

BUT it does add the wailing, keening flavor that the pedal steel guitar was designed to do.

By jove...

I think I've got it!

Holy cheese balls!

I record the rest of the pedal steel guitar line.

I go back and listen to it from top to bottom.

Good Christ, Watson.

it works.

I can't believe it-

it.

totally.

works.

"Save".

One interesting observation-

since I banished the metronome from the track after realizing that it made me play the piano like an Aryan Youth band member-

I notice that, some of my instrumental lines don't exactly match up.

A very small number of down beat notes in all the different instruments don't land exactly together. I momentarily consider editing them all to land perfectly. But, then...I reconsider. 

Unlike the MUSIC BOX SONG where things obviously needed to line up perfectly as a music box would...this song has an organic flow to it. And in a way, the slight imperfections make it sound more...wistful? In a way, when it doesn't line up exactly- it's more believable that actually this was recorded by four separate people all sitting in a room. Because, it's...kind of perfectly imperfect.

Just to be sure, I record a really crappy vocal track for timing.

As  result, I do have moments where I'm questioning the tempo-

too fast in some places, too slow in others.

But i'll leave that to the final mix.

What with technology, these things can be adjusted successfully if they're slight. (Too much and anything acoustic with vibrato ends up sounding like it's coming down hard from an all night Rave).

But i make a note to tell Jay Atwood (my awesome mixing guy) to NOT line up the notes in the final mix. 

I remember Sondheim's advice:

Better to play with feeling, rather than perfectly.

Amen, brother.

Another arrangement down.

Wow.

Two days.

Not too shabby, if i do say so myself.

Next up: THE BALM IN GILEAD song.

Til then, my lovelies...

xoxo

dl

PAY PAL AND MY NEW BANK ACCOUNT

Ok my sweet pertaters--

So i went to the bank today and tried to open a second checking account with my regular bank for this whole CD adventure (just cause I want to really keep my personal finances separate from the CD finances for clarity).  And it turns out, they don't LET you open a second checking account on an already existing account unless it's an official business account (with all offiicial numbers and tags and crap)-

or a joint account for safety purposes. 

Obviously, this prevents anyone other than you from opening another checking account without your knowledge using all your information already in the system. Makes sense, and i really do appreciate it but....a pain in the ass, nonetheless. Especially after I hobbled all the way over there on a fractured ankle for basically nuthin'.

I float the joint-account idea by Andy (the bf) and he's incredibly supportive and game...

but...i don't wanna mix his financial information all up in this shit either.

Plus, trying to get around on a fractured ankle is tough-

and cabs are not cheap so...

trekking to my bank branch again in my condition?

Not appealling, and...not really smart either.

Of course on the block where I live there's only....

oh, i don't know...

2987234i234987234 banks to choose from. 

So I eeny meeny miney moe'd it, went into one and opened up a new account.

Then I went home and signed up for a PAYPAL account (https://www.paypal.com/).

This (which I'm sure most of you know about- but for those of you like me, who didn't),

is a really nifty site that allows you to have people pay you via credit card and vice versa. It's also incredibly secure for everyone involved so...that's extremely comforting as well.

Also, as luck would have it-

my regular website (www.donnalynnechamplin.com) is actually wired for PAYPAL so...

when everything gets set up and approved and all that jazz, I will post again as to how to make donations to the ANGEL PR FUND, and eventually purchase CDs, etc if you're interested.

But yes.

PAYPAL.

What a marvelous invention.

Definitely a 'must have' for the independant CD seller.

I'm grateful to know you PAYPAL.

May we be life long friends.

xo

dl

THE MONUMENT SONG: day one

Ok.

This tune, which we'll call The Monument Song (by Jim Bauer) totally sucker punched me in the solar plexus when I saw/heard it (performed by the sublime Nancy Anderson) in an Off Broadway show a few seasons ago. It's such a unique piece. Especially for musical theatre. The lyrics are true poetry and incredibly poignant. 

It's also extremely simple melodically, but the orchestrations (which I've remained true to, with Mr. Bauer's permission) are in a way, subtley complex. I mean, it's not every day you hear a musical theatre orchestration for accordion and pedal steel guitar*. 

*The pedal steel guitar is very common to country tunes- it's that...sort of 'wailing sound' in pretty much every Garth Brooks song ever recorded? In country songs, your ear doesn't register it anymore because it's always there- but in a musical theatre tune? It really really comes alive because it's such an unsual sound.

For this very reason, I am loathe to admit that there is absolutely nothing I have or can do to even come close to that sound. It's kind of devastating. I have tried everything. Every patch. Finessed in every way possible. It's just not within my capability to manufacture that sound respectfully. 

So.

I have to figure out a way around it.

If i can't replicate it properly, i will have to substitute it with something equally as 'emotional'.

Which sucks at the moment.

But I'm sure the answer will come.

In the meantime...

I'm sitting here.

I'm looking at the arrangement.

There's parts for:

piano (check)

accordion (check)

bass (check)

medal steel guitar (feck).

I figure, I'll record all the tracks I have instruments for first.

Oof.

The print is small.

Even with my glasses on...the instrument lines are blurring together.

I get out the highlighter markers:

pink=piano

yellow=bass

blue=accordion.

Ah.

Much better.

I lay down the piano track.

Wow. 

I've really underestimated the difficulty of the piano chart.

It takes me quite a few passes, and a lot of patching to finally get it where i want it.

I listen back.

ugh.

The garage band metronome is drilling a hole into my eustachian tubes all of a sudden.

What's happening?

But...

wait a minute...

why is the metronome bothering me now when i'm listening to the playback...

and not when i was playing....

oooohhhhh no.

I listen more closely...

Ohhhh crap.

It's because I play like a complete dick cheese when it's on!

That's why it's bothering me on the playback.

Noooooo!!!!

The metronome ATE MY BRAIN!

shit.

No nuance.

No nothing.

Just boring, totally metered playing on my part.

I was trying so hard to get the notes right...

that it's completely devoid of feeling.

*Sondheim sidenote:

When we were rehearsing SWEENEY TODD, Sondheim came to our first runthrough (thank you very much). Obviously, we were all shitting our pants at just running it all, let alone for the master. So in an effort to be as perfect as possible, we played that gorgeous score like we had ten maypoles shoved firmly up our asses. Afterwards, Sondheim graciously said,

"You're all too respectful of my music. I would rather you play more wrong notes and play with more emotion, than play every note correctly but without the proper degree of feeling."

I believe Mr. Sondheim would not approve of my latest take. At all.

Just to appease the sadist in me...

I listen again to the piano track without the metronome on. 

Oh sweet baby Jesus in Heaven.

it's even worse.

The militance is even more pronounced.

It's like...Patton played it. Blindfolded. With his elbows.

Forget it.

not even remotely good enough.

it's 90 minutes of work gone, but fuck it.

"delete"

I decide to use the metronome to get me into the piece through intro-

and then get rid of it.

Obviously, I can't be trusted with it on.

an hour later....

better.

a few more patches...

ah.

good.

very good.

a few more patches...

yes.

i'm very pleased indeed.

yay!

"Save"

i lay down the bass.

Again, in the show it was I believe, an electric bass guitar that was used which has...

a really nice sustain to it.

But the electric guitar patch I have in garage band is really, 

well, let's say ACDC would find it "a bit too much", so-

I go for a traditional Upright Bass patch and finesse it with bass amp, auto wah, treble reduction features and a shit load of reverb. 

Ooh!!!!

It's actually pretty cool sounding. 

I really like it. 

Sweet.

"Save".

I look at the clock.

12am.

crap.

I really want to press on.

And i know if i don't i'll just lie in bed with the remaining accordion track swimming through my head anyway.

But i swore i wouldn't play any more acoustic stuff after 11pm.

it's so uncool of me neighbor wise.

shitskys.

oooooohhhhh....

it's only take me 20-30 minutes tops.

it's an easy track, this one.

plus, i can play real quietly...

it's a real quiet kinda song.

i break out the beast and strap 'er on.

An easy 20 minutes.

no surprises, just a straight shot.

aaaannnnd done.

Ok i'm putting her to bed for tonight.

tomorrow, I'll tackle the pedal steel guitar issue..

until then, my lovelies...

sleep tight.

oxox

dl