Thursday, October 29, 2009

MIA MIXING VORTEX

Hey Dolls and those who wear the Fanciest of Pants-

ok so...
I've been mixing.
for days.

for.

ddddaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyssssss.

I was hoping to only mix for like....
two days...
but because of a delay here and there...
and also because i am apparently at the mercy of shity cell and internet reception in the middle of a west coast desert...
I'm too tired to even explain that....
my two days planned for mixing has turned into almost a week.

Heads up?

When you set a deadline for everything?
And this is just because shit happens on every side....

ALWAYS tell everyone (including yourself) that your deadline is actually at least a week BEFORE your actual deadline.

PLAN to have all your shit together and ready to go A WEEK at LEAST before you really need it. Because inevitably, things come up, people are called away, etc...and you are gonna NEED that week and be really grateful you planned for it. A nice 'buffer week' basically.

This is probably common knowledge to anyone out there who's had to produce something by themselves? And you're all nodding your heads and thinking, 

"well....duh."

A) how was i supposed to know.

and

B) WHY DIDN'T ANY OF YOU CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT!!!????

you probably assumed i knew that buffer week rule, didn't ya?
yeah.
i find people think i'm way smarter than i actually am.

i think it's my delicate and economical fucking use of cock sucking profanity.

Upshot?

My eyes are retarded from looking at garage band, my ears are bleeding from listening to things like a fucking bat, and my stomach is so tied up in knots I can barely sleep.

if this is the life of a sound engineer?
ya'll can HAVE it, suckahs.

I'm sure they'd say the same thing about being an actor and opening up a huge multi-million dollar show, but still....

I have to say tho...
i think i'm a halfway decent mixer.

what is really grinding my cheese is that i have the SHITTIEST speakers in the WORLD.

So....
those are attached to my computer which i do my best with...
then i have to BURN a CD....
and then listen to the CD on a much better set of speakers...
my TV.
Then i sit with a note pad and go through every track...
take notes...
and go back to the computer with the shitty speakers.

over.
and.
over.
and.
over.

So...
this is taking me forever...
not so much because i'm slow as hell-
but because my set up is like from the 1940's over here, basically.

but.
what can ya do.

on a HAPPIER note tho....
while it takes me like already, 12 CDs of mixes to get something right?
I've got about half the songs where i really REALLY dig them...
and...
i'm not going to lie.

there have been moments where i've burst into tears from relief and happiness-
and actually danced around my living room on a particularly good musical moment that's been brought out by the mix.

speaking of which.

i can't stress enough-
how important the mixing and mastering is.
i honestly, had no idea.
cause normally, i go into the booth-
do my thang-
leave-
and then weeks later i get a CD in the mail and it all sounds awesome.

yeah.

artist reality check?

that shit does NOT sound awesome when you traipse off after your 3-5 hours of set work.
not even remotely.
it takes hours and hours and days and weeks in some cases-
to make it sound awesome.

so, next time you've just done some sorta booth gig?
you better give your mixer a big huge sloppy french kiss on the way out the door because they hold the POWAH to make you sound fucking brilliant, or like complete and total ass.

I have learned this the hard way by pretty much accidentally making my voice and my insutrments sound like both. The TRICK is to get the voice and the instruments to sound fucking brilliant AT THE SAME TIME.

not as easy as it sounds, my friends.
not as easy as it sounds.

btw-
why am i writing today like i'm nell carter?
brain's fried.
and i love nell carter.

mystery solved.

I've learned some really cool 'tricks' along the way tho...
which i plan to share in a couple days when i'm not desperately wanting to jump out the window.

and speaking of which....
duty calls.

but...
it's getting there.
i swear.

and.
i'm.
so.
friggin'.
excited
i.
can't.
stand.
it.

whee!!!!!

xoxo
dl